Spinster Mom

Taking the Show on The Road (Or at Least to the Store) - Repost

During my efforts to revive my blog, I noticed that some posts had gone missing due, I suspect, to technical issues when last updating. This is one, from July 27, 2015, when my girls were just over 7 months old. So much has changed since then (especially the bedtime routine!), but I thought it was worth re-posting.

Also, don’t forget to check out my old blog,
Sister Kristen Wants a Baby, to learn more about my journey to being a single mom of twins!

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Shopping with twins is exhausting. Everything takes at least twice as long. Not because of the logistics of managing two babies, but because of the logistics of managing everyone's questions and comments about two babies! I don’t know what it is about twins and other multiples that makes people feel like they have license to ask all manner of intrusive questions, or make what they consider to be witty remarks. I have never once asked someone how their child was conceived or suggested that they might be done having kids. But every parent of multiples knows that you face these types of questions and comments every time you go out (and seriously, twins are not nearly as rare as the once were, so get over it!!)

Here’s a sampling of encounters from just one shopping trip:

Man 1 - "Twins! Double Trouble!"
Me - "Ha, ha, yeah." Smile politely.

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Man 2 - "Two girls! Wow! Two weddings to pay for! Better to invest in two ladders so they can elope!"
Me - "Ha, ha, yeah, that's a thought." Smile politely.

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Saleswoman (after hearing me say, "We're going on vacation in a couple of weeks") - "You're lucky there's two of you. I don't know how single moms do it with twins."
Me - "Um, I am single."
Saleswoman - "Oh my God! So, when you said 'we' you meant you and the babies! I don't know how you do it."
Saleswoman (upon me mentioning my two dogs) - "You're crazy!"
Me - "So I'm told." Smile politely.

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Old Man - "Twins! Do you do everything in twos?"
Me - "I guess so, because I have two dogs too."
Old Man - "Do you have two husbands too?" Me - "Nope. None."
Old Man - "Oh!"
Random Woman passing by - "That's good. Smart choice."
Me - Try desperately not to laugh.

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Old Woman - "Double Trouble!"
Me (see above)
Old Woman - "Are these all the kids you have?"
Me - "Yes, unless you count the two dogs."
Old Woman - "No, no. But I bet your husband loves the dogs!"
Me - (Huh? silently) "Yeah..." Smile politely.

This does not count the lengthy conversation at the Walmart checkout with the Mom, Kid and Grandma who were very nice, but very inquisitive, and were glad I gave my kids "normal" (their word) names, and not matching ones.

If I added all of the encounters I’ve had over the last several months, I’d have to talk about all of these: The guy in the restaurant who asked if I was breastfeeding. The many times someone has said, “You sure have your hands full!” The number of times I’ve been asked if they’re “natural,” or if I knew I was having twins (Seriously? In this age of prenatal screening?). If twins run in my family (they do – my dad was a twin – but not relevant in my case). Being told I’m lucky they weren’t triplets.

And of course, there are the many, many people who say (even shout from passing cars, “God Bless You!” At least for that one, I have a response ready. I just look at my beautiful girls and say, “He already has.”

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